My Gua-Ma Said

I was from Sumatra, Indonesia. I didn’t know your Gua-Gong before we got married. In turbulent times. It was a union arranged by our parents.

The Japanese were invading our country at that time. Unwed girls were hurriedly matchmade to men who wanted to start a family. There was even this girl who hid under the bed when the Japanese came. It was that bad. Lucky for her, she did not get raped.

Your Gua-Gong was very smart. He began to work without much education. When he was a kid in China, he dropped out of school after maybe a couple of years. But he learnt things very fast and was very successful in business after he came over to Indonesia. He spoke the local language and traded local products. Rubber, bananas, durians… We did not have to worry about money and he was highly respected in the community.

Your Gua-Gong was also a very kind man. Children had to travel long distances to attend school. To let them have an easier time, he hired a teacher to teach at where the children lived. During my time, it was not easy to get an education. I probably started to attend primary school only when I was 10 or 11.

He had a big heart. The Malay children would always beg for money. Some of them wanted money to buy opium. Sometimes, your Gua-Gong would pity them and give them money. I don’t think they ever returned the money. Same with land. Your Gua-Gong owned some land and sometimes people would beg to have some land to bury their family members. He would also agree to it.

The place that we lived in was very simple but we had to leave it to escape to a safer place. Your Gua-Gong came over to Singapore first for work. My parents didn’t allow me to follow him. The ship that he traveled in was a small one. It was only later when he arranged for a bigger ship to transport local products to Singapore that I was allowed to go.

One year after I came here, I gave birth to your Dua-Yi. Your Dua-Yi studied in a Chinese school. Your Dua-Gu and Ji-Gu were very different. Dua-Gu didn’t play a lot. He was the one who could study. Your Ji-Gu mixed with the wrong company and played more than he studied. Soy-Gu started well but also mixed with the wrong company. I remember your mummy and your Ji-Yi studied from the night to the next morning. And those topics that they prepared for were not tested. Those that they did not prepare as much for appeared in their tests.

Eat. Help me eat. I can’t finish so much. I just went to the market this morning to have fish porridge. Eat. I’m also just getting better from diarrhoea last week. Yes, I’m taking mediation. Better now. Eat.

You cannot go and see your Gua-Gong today. It’s your birthday. Your mummy didn’t tell you? Aiyoh. You cannot go ok. No good.

I listened to my Gua-Ma talk on my birthday. That was last Friday. Two years ago on the same day, my Gua-Gong passed on. I just felt like I needed to go and see him before I started enjoying my birthday break.

In that short time that I was listening to my Gua-Ma share about her life, I was very touched. Somewhat feeling blessed to have such a chance to know more about her and her husband. She spoke entirely in Teochew. Not that my grasp of that language is very polished but at least my mum taught me well enough. I wished I had a recorder then. I’m sure there are details that have slipped my mind, and others that did not register any meaning to me in the first place.

So, at least that was what I think my Gua-Ma said.